Just woke up and feeling depressed from the break up with kayla. I really don’t understand how she could be acting the way she is. Maybe age has a factor or maybe it is the abortion that has thrown her for a loop. Either way it is a very complicated situation to be in. We both wanted the child then I left for work for a week and when I came back she dumped me and is having an abortion. I am so confused.
How am I to survive knowing that it must of been something I have done that must have sent her to this state of mind. Did I kill what could have been my child? Am I a murderer? Who am I and why am I here in my pajamas writing to who ever cares to read these words. I feel very alone at the moment. I wish I didn’t but I do.
I know I have a lot written on this blog some of what dates almost 3 years ago. My heart has been through a lot and I don’t know a solution that isn’t suicide or running away. Damn I am 21 for christ sakes. Why should I have to go through these situations. Why do I go looking for them? Why is the biggest question that is in my life.
Anyways I just awoke, I will keep you all up to date soon enough. Take care.
J. Poisson